‘Twas the Night Before Christmas…Politically Correct!

Well Peachtree City, the Holidays are upon us once again!  As I began to write about the holiday I wanted to hone in on how we have to be so politically correct about everything nowadays.    

For instance Christmas is a legal holiday and was made a legal holiday in order to celebrate the birth of Christ.  It is now, however, politically incorrect to say Merry Christmas because you might insult non Christians and atheists.  We are told that the correct greeting is now Happy Holidays.  Stores now advertise and sell….Holiday gifts!  They wish us Happy Holidays and play Holiday music that does not mention Christmas, Christ or God.  It doesn’t matter that they are insulting Christians, because Christians, by nature of their beliefs, are forgiving. 

Just look at us now folks…we have created a culture of victims and entitlement!  Political correctness is fine to a point, but like anything else, take it too far and it becomes ridiculous.  We have taken it too far and it is now ridiculous.  Stop listening to Hollywood and the political left-wing elite and start thinking for yourself. Don’t be stupid. Oops…. I apologize, should I have said don’t be mentally challenged?  Be kind, be polite, and have empathy for others and why not give something back for a change.  Is that not the real spirit of Christmas! 

But for those of you who continue to be vocal about political correctness….Happy Holidays!!!  This version of the ‘Twas the night before Christmas is especially for you!

‘Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck.

How to live in a world that’s politically correct?

His workers no longer would answer to Elves,

Vertically Challenged they were calling themselves.

And labor conditions at the north pole

Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,

Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.

And equal employment had made it quite clear

That Santa had better not use just reindeer.

So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,

Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;

The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.

And people had started to call for the cops

When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.

Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.

His fur trimmed red suit was called Unenlightened.

And to show you the strangeness of life’s ebbs and flows,

Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose

And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,

Demanding millions in over-due compensation.

 So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,

Who suddenly said she’d enough of this life,

Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,

Demanding from now on her title was Ms.

And as for the gifts, why, he’d ne’er had a notion

That making a choice could cause so much commotion.

Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,

Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.

Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.

Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.

Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.

Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.

Nothing that’s warlike or non-pacific.

No candy or sweets, they were bad for the tooth.

Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.

And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,

Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.

For they raised the hackles of those psychological

Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football; someone could get hurt;

Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.

Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;

And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;

He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,

But you’ve got to be careful with that word today.

His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;

Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might

Give to all without angering the left or the right.

A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,

Each group of people, every religion;

Every ethnicity, every hue,

Everyone, everywhere, even you.

So here is that gift, it’s priced beyond worth.

May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth.

Notice: This poem is copyright 1992 by Harvey Ehrlich.

God Bless Us All!  Here’s Wishing You and Your Families….A Very Merry Christmas!